When we talk about “feeling well,” it’s easy to imagine a perfect, unshakable state — always happy, always calm, always in control. But mental health professionals know that well-being is far more nuanced.

APA definition: Well-being is “a state of happiness and contentment, with low levels of distress, overall good physical and mental health and outlook, or good quality of life.” ¹

This definition is both aspirational and realistic. It acknowledges that well-being isn’t just the absence of illness — it’s a dynamic combination of emotional balance, physical health, and life satisfaction. But it also leaves room for the truth: no one feels this way all the time.

Do we need to feel well all the time?

The short answer: no. Human emotions are inherently dynamic. Stress, sadness, frustration — these aren’t signs that you’ve “failed” at wellness. They’re part of the normal range of human experience. Psychological research shows that experiencing a full spectrum of emotions, including unpleasant ones, is essential for emotional resilience and growth. ²

Studies in affective science also suggest that emotional flexibility — the ability to experience and regulate a variety of emotions — is more predictive of mental health than constant positivity. ³

What to do if you don’t feel well

If your sense of well-being feels low or unstable, here are evidence-based strategies that can help:

• Check the basics: Sleep, nutrition, hydration, and movement all have measurable effects on mood and cognitive function. ⁴
• Connect with others: Social support is one of the strongest predictors of psychological well-being. Whether it’s a friend, family member, or community, connection matters. ⁵
• Name what you’re feeling: Labeling emotions — a process called affect labeling — can reduce their intensity and improve emotional regulation. ⁶
• Engage in meaningful activity: Purposeful action, even in small doses, can restore a sense of agency and hope. Volunteering, creative expression, or setting small goals can help. ⁷
• Seek professional help when needed: If distress is persistent or interfering with daily life, a licensed mental health professional can provide support, tools, and treatment options.

The takeaway

Feeling well is not about constant positivity — it’s about cultivating the conditions that allow you to return to balance when life inevitably tilts. It’s about recognizing that emotions are not problems to be solved, but experiences to be witnessed and understood.

Well-being is a journey, not a permanent destination. And every step you take toward caring for your mind, body, and relationships is a step toward feeling well — in your own way.

References

1. American Psychological Association. (n.d.). Well-being. APA Dictionary of Psychology. https://dictionary.apa.org/well-being
2. Kashdan, T. B., & Biswas-Diener, R. (2014). The Upside of Your Dark Side. Hudson Street Press.
3. Bonanno, G. A., & Burton, C. L. (2013). Regulatory flexibility: An individual differences perspective on coping and emotion regulation. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 8(6), 591–612.
4. Walker, M. (2017). Why We Sleep. Scribner.
5. Uchino, B. N. (2006). Social support and health: A review of physiological processes potentially underlying links to disease outcomes. Journal of Behavioral Medicine, 29(4), 377–387.
6. Lieberman, M. D., Eisenberger, N. I., Crockett, M. J., Tom, S. M., Pfeifer, J. H., & Way, B. M. (2007). Putting feelings into words: Affect labeling disrupts amygdala activity in response to affective stimuli. Psychological Science, 18(5), 421–428.
7. Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2001). On happiness and human potentials: A review of research on hedonic and eudaimonic well-being. Annual Review of Psychology, 52, 141–166.